


The Lost Art of Keeping a Secret

by kelbivdevoe



Category: American Horror Story: Cult
Genre: Emotional Manipulation, F/M, Kai is his own warning, Light Bondage, Oral Sex, Porn With Plot, This is not a romance
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-10-17
Updated: 2017-10-18
Packaged: 2019-01-18 16:41:00
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 4
Words: 4,501
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12392001
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/kelbivdevoe/pseuds/kelbivdevoe
Summary: You don't know what's more surprising-- Kai's reappearance in your life or the fact he wants to be a part of it.





	1. Strange Encounter

**Author's Note:**

> I started this after episode 1 and it's evolved a lot with every episode--the more we find out about Kai the more clear his motives are becoming.
> 
> Crossposted from tumblr.

Your eyes barely focus on the grocery list displayed on the screen of your phone as you walk your cart directly into the bakery section of your supermarket. Your day at work, like most of your days at work, has sucked, and now your body is screaming for salt, sugar and alcohol. There’s a dull throbbing at the back of your head and part of you hopes it’s an aneurysm because it means you won’t have to go back to that hellscape of an office.

Fuck the list. It doesn’t take long before your small cart is filled with various life shortening foods: apple pie, ice cream, Cheetos, Nutella, cookie dough and the largest bottle of Rose the store has available. You grab a Caesar salad from the deli section on the way to the checkout because you believe in a balanced diet.

There’s only one checkout lane available, but thankfully, there’s only one person ahead of you. He’s wearing a beanie jammed down on the top of his head, covering the lank blue hair that almost reaches his shoulders. You ruminate on his questionable choice of hair color for a moment before loading your groceries onto the conveyor belt.

Blue Hair glances over his shoulder at your pile of diabetes.

“Watching your weight?” He asks wryly.

You press your lips together, not really in the mood for human interaction as you rummage through your purse for your wallet.

“Just a bad day. Haven’t you ever bought a sadness pie before?”

The side of his mouth twitches upward at that.

“I try to deal with my problems in a healthier way.”

You glare at the back of his head as he pays for his groceries, wishing his stupid black beanie would swallow his head whole.

He picks up the plastic bag and turns to look at you, studying your face with eyes so dark they look almost black. You both seem to feel the same vague sense of recognition until everything clicks into place. He says your name suddenly.

“You’re Garrett’s cousin, right? He and I used to hang out in high school.”

“Yeah, I am. Kai…?” You try, and he nods in affirmation. There aren’t many memories of him, just like most people you went to high school with, but you recall him much skinnier with a mop of curly blond hair. His sister Winter was a few years younger than you, sweet but quiet.

“Nice to see there’s someone else who never left town besides me.”

Is he being sincere or shady? You’re in too bad of a mood to take it as anything other than insulting. The cashier finishes checking through your groceries and gives you the total.

“Well, good to see you again…” You lie and hope he gets the hint, pulling your debit card out of your wallet and turning your attention to the pin pad in front of you. You can still feel his gaze on you, two black holes boring into the side of your head.

“You too. Good luck with your diet.”

“Ass,” You mumble under your breath as he disappears through the sliding glass doors, the blue haired cherry on top of an absolutely shitty day.

xxx

The wine is half gone as you scroll through the contacts on your phone, humming softly as you find Garrett’s name, tapping the camera icon and waiting patiently for him to answer. It doesn’t take long until his sunny smile and large glasses fill the screen of your phone.

“Oh hey!” He chirps, still full of energy despite this hour of the night.

“Hey!” You smile. Garrett never fails to put you in a good mood. “What’s up?”

“I’m making some tiny furniture for David Bowie’s habitat.” He turns the phone so you can see the tiny table and chairs sitting on the floor. There’s a miniature pie sitting in the center of the table. Garrett is the best.

“That’s…incredible.” You grin, watching the small white and orange hamster roll around in his ball past the table.

“Get on my level.” He laughs and turns the phone, too close to his face so all you can see is teeth and stubble. “How’s your night going?”

You point the phone at the half empty bottle of wine.

“Ouch.”

“My job is killing me. I’d quit if I didn’t need it to, y’know, not be homeless.”

“I hear the life of a hobo is actually fulfilling.”

“Try it and let me know, would you?”

“I have a son to take care of. David Bowie would never survive life on the streets.”

You’re picturing the hamster with a bindle by a trash can fire when you remember the reason you called Garrett in the first place.

“Do you remember Kai Anderson?”

“That’s a name I haven’t heard in awhile. Yeah.” He scratches his chin, sifting through memories from 12 years ago. “Kind of a weird guy. I mean, we all spent time on 4chan, but he seemed to be the only one who took that mindset seriously, y’know?”

God, the 4chan years seem like so long ago. You all dicked around on there as teenagers, but there was a general consensus among you that the things you saw there and the people posting them were horrible and fucked up.

“Garrett. I just lost The Game.”

His laughter crackles out of the speaker. “Fuck you. Why are you asking about Kai?”

“I ran into him tonight at the grocery store. He was kind of a dick and looks like he takes his aesthetic from Heath Ledger in The Dark Knight.”

“Yeah, that sounds about right. Remember that one Halloween he dressed as that freaky ass clown and terrorized that party at Jennifer Wayne’s? Sounds like he hasn’t changed.” He pauses before giving you a smile that says you’re obviously going to hate what’s coming next. “You know he thought you were cute in high school?”

“Oh my god.”

“Right? I gave him a lot of shit for it. He must have been blind.”

You give him the finger.

“I’m going now.”

“Tell your boyfriend I said hi~”

He’s still laughing when you end the call. When you finally get to sleep that night you dream of clowns.

xxx

“That’s $5.72,” The tall girl behind the Starbucks counter yawns as you jam your hand into your pocket for the $10 bill you know you’d put there before leaving the house, trying not to think of how much money you’ve spent on frappucinos in the past 5 years they’ve been open in your town.

A large hand holding a $20 appears suddenly in your peripheral vision.

“A venti Americano, and I’ll pay for hers too.”

You turn at the sound of the familiar voice. The Kai of today looks very different from the one you’d run into last night; his blue hair is pulled back into a tight bun at the top of his head and he’s dressed in a well pressed gray suit. His face is still covered in ginger stubble, but he looks—dare you say it—put together.

“No, it’s okay, you really don’t have to—“

“Really, I insist. I was kind of an asshole yesterday, let me make it up to you.”

He sounds almost earnest. Does the man bun give him a conscience?

“Ah…okay, thanks,” You acquiesce, tucking some hair behind one ear and walking over to get your drink from behind the bar. Soon your mouth is filled with the sweet taste of salted caramel and you’re feeling slightly less hostile towards Kai. He walks over, getting his coffee from the barista and looking at you with an actual smile.

“What’s with the suit?” You ask around the straw clamped between your teeth.

“I have some business with the city council.” Vague as usual.

“Never pegged you for a politics guy.”

“Let’s just say I’m a firm believer in change.” He takes a long sip of his coffee, looking at you over the rim of his cup. You’re never going to get used to the color of his eyes.

When he asks you to get a drink with him you almost inhale your straw.


	2. Every Man Needs a Companion

“How are you guys still alive?” You laugh into your drink, the 4th of the night, as Kai grins and bites into a pretzel from the bowl on the table. His stories about high school are as terrifying as they are hilarious; Garrett never told you about half the shit they used to get up to. He’s a surprisingly good story teller. It’s been hard to take your eyes off of him despite your every attempt to.

Although you started the night on opposite sides of the booth, the distance has closed between you considerably. Your knees brush against each other’s occasionally, making your chest tighten in a way that you _think_ is just the alcohol trying to make an escape. You are not falling for his charms. Nope.

“It’s a miracle,” He admits, blue hair glowing under the stained glass lamp hanging over his head. The bar is dimly lit, but he still stands out in the darkness, a shock of color in a sea of shadows. “We ended up dodging death _and_ jail. I’m still not sure how.”

“Probably for the best,” You agree, words flowing a little more smoothy thanks to the 8 shots of vodka in your system. “A criminal record wouldn’t be good for your political future, President Anderson.”

His eyes glimmer at that, grin growing.

“That sounds way too good coming out of your mouth.” He says lowly as he brushes his fingers against yours. You feel your face growing warm.

“I have to pee,” You blurt, sliding out of the booth without looking back and hurrying towards the bathroom.

_It’s the vodka. Vodkavodkavodkavodka._

The bathrooms are located in a small alcove in the back of the bar. Your phone jingles merrily from your pocket and you pull it out, squinting at the screen in an effort to clear your vision.

**When’s the wedding?**

Garrett. It had been a mistake telling him about Kai asking you out. You lean against the wall and thank god for auto-correct before you start typing.

_**the third saturday of fuck you** _

**I’ll check my calendar! Your gift is either going to be a toaster or a framed photo of me. Seriously, how’s it going?**

**_he’s oddly charming????? or i’m really drunk_ **

**Please name your first child after me.**

“Hey there, honey,” An unfamiliar voice fills your ears before a gust of beer breath hits you in the face. You wrinkle your nose and glance up into the face of a large, smiling man at least 15 years your senior.

When you try to brush past him into the bathroom he shifts and blocks your path, standing in front of the bathroom door.

“Come on, don’t be like that. I just wanna talk.”

You fix him with a glare despite the fact your heart is hammering.

He smiles, revealing a mouth that’s seen better days. He’s either a hockey player or doesn’t own a toothbrush.

“You here alone?” One of his hands snakes out around your hip, moving dangerously close to your ass.

“Don’t touch me!” You hiss, reaching up to push him away. Alcohol has slowed down your reaction time far too much for the adrenaline to keep up with. He grabs your wrist with a chuckle, sneering.

“Listen, bitch—“

He doesn’t get the rest out.

The next thing you hear is a loud thud and the air being forced out of the man’s lungs. Kai has him pinned against the wall, his forearm pressing hard against the man’s windpipe.

“If you ever so much as breathe in her direction again, I’ll make sure no one ever finds your body.” He snarls, dark eyes flashing with rage. Are you actually getting turned on by this?

The man gurgles something in response and Kai slams him slightly against the wall once more before stepping back and watching the man fall to his knees. He stands over him for a moment, fists clenched and chest heaving. It looks natural for him. When he turns away, he grabs your trembling hands in his, looking at you with concern.

“Are you okay?” He asks, eyes flickering over your face.

“Yeah, I’m fine…” You nod, still a bit shaken. Too buzzed to deal with the rush of feelings that are happening right now.

“Let’s get out of here.” He sounds almost tender, not letting go of one of your hands as he leads you back to your booth to collect your jackets. You walk out together into the cool night air, second guessing exactly how much you know about Kai Anderson.


	3. The Element of Surprise

You tuck your hands into your pockets, watching a man walk his small Dachshund past the pizza place across the street. The hot dog shaped animal is tucked into a knitted yellow sweater and you smile at the sight, quickly taking a picture on your phone. Instagram loves dogs dressed like humans.

Kai emerges from the restaurant as you decide on the perfect filter for the picture, hurrying across the street with two paper plates and cans of soda tucked into his pockets. He glances over at the dog with an amused look before sitting down heavily next to you.

“I think I have the same sweater.” He hands you one of the paper plates and your stomach growls at the sight of the huge slice of pizza. You take a small bite, savoring the taste on your tongue before swallowing. Even though you’re almost completely sober now it still tastes amazing.

“Sorry about earlier,” You tell him slowly, unsure if you should even bring it up or not. It’s still there in the back of your mind. Even though nothing happened, something could have, and the possibility scares you more than you’d care to admit.

Kai’s eyebrows knit together as he chews.

“You have nothing to apologize for,” He says firmly through a mouthful of pizza, swallowing. “That guy was an asshole—men think that they have to the right to do whatever they want to a woman. It’s fucking disgusting.”

You nod in agreement and he hands you a cold can of soda, still talking. He’s surprisingly passionate on the subject of women’s rights.

“A woman’s body is no one’s business but hers. What she chooses to do—or doesn’t choose to do— is her fucking decision. End of story. Men are so scared of feminism without even taking the time to understand the concept.”

He takes another bite of his pizza, chewing slowly. “I probably overreacted in there, but when I saw him touching you, I…”

Your fingers tighten a little around the can clutched between your hands.

“There’s something about you I feel like I have to protect.”

He gazes at you unwaveringly and your throat clicks loudly as you swallow.

“I don’t know what to say,” You admit softly, honestly.

“Say you’ll let me.”

He leans in, brushing his lips against yours in a silent request for a kiss. And you let him.

xxx

It’s bizarre to see someone you know on television; it’s even more bizarre when it’s the person you’re dating. You shift onto your side and snuggle further into your pillows, watching Kai’s interview on the news with Beverly Hope. His gaze burns into you through the television just as much as it does in person. It’s been 2 weeks since your first date and his political campaign has gone into overdrive.

So has the murder rate.

Your chest tightens as you think about the video on the news a few days ago—the people in clown masks, the chanting—oh, and Bob Thompson getting fucking ventilated with hunting knives. Living alone had seemed like a luxury until now. Now it just means that there’s going to be no one around to hear you scream if a band of clowns decides your house is their next target.

As if on cue, you swear you hear the front door open. Sitting bolt upright in bed, you yank the covers up to your chin, because that’ll stop someone from stabbing you.

You locked the front door. You _know_ you locked the front door because right now the real world is terrifying.

“Hello?” Kai calls your name and you almost faint from the pure relief that comes from knowing you’re not about to die.

“You scared the shit out of me!” You blurt as he comes around the corner, still dressed in the same suit he’d been wearing on TV earlier.

“Fuck, sorry,” He winces, adjusting the laptop bag hanging over his shoulder. “I should have called before I came over. Is it alright if I stay over tonight? I must have lost my keys somewhere today and the locksmith isn’t open until tomorrow morning.”

“Does Winter have a spare key?” You ask, lowering the blankets. 

He shakes his head.

“She does, but she’s out of town for the weekend. I totally understand if you’re not comfortable with it yet.” He smiles to let you know there are no hard feelings and you feel a pang of guilt.

“Of course you can stay.” You return the smile and his grows in response.

“Thank you so much. I don’t snore, I swear.” He puts down his bag and walks over, giving you a quick kiss before disappearing into the bathroom. The sound of the shower fills your room and you switch over to Netflix on your tv, watching the red circle spin as you chew absently on your thumbnail. Something’s still bothering you.

“Kai?” You call, listening to him move around in the shower.

“Yeah?” He calls back, voice muffled by the running water.

“How did you get in? The front door was locked.”

“You told me about the spare key, remember? Said you kept it under the mat because you kept locking your keys in your car.”

Had you told him that? You honestly can’t remember. There’s no other way he could know that, obviously you must have said something. Still…

“Now I know why you smell so fucking good,” Kai grins, walking out and gripping the towel wrapped around his waist. You’re struck by the sight of him shirtless; he’s deceptively muscular, usually hidden by layers of clothing. Your thighs squeeze together subconsciously.

“Secret’s out,” You joke a bit breathlessly, watching the way his hair falls over his face as he bends over. Part of you wants to slap yourself for your brain deciding to short circuit at the sight of a half naked man. 

He tugs his boxers back on under the towel before pulling it off and hanging it over the chair with the rest of his things. You busy yourself with trying to find an episode of The Office, concentrating ridiculously hard on the episode titles.

Kai pulls back the blankets and climbs in next to you, shifting so close you feel the dampness of his hair brush against your shoulder. Two adults sitting next to each other in your underwear. This is fine.

“Can we watch The Dundies?” He asks, leaning his head against yours. He smells like lavender and vanilla. Completely comfortable while you’re about to start shaking like a wet dog.

“Absolutely.” You scroll through the seasons until you find it, hitting play and tossing the remote to the foot of the bed.

He grins and you both settle onto your sides to get a better view. One of his arms slides around your waist as he shifts closer and you hold your breath a little as he fits himself against you. His laughter comes out in soft gusts against your ear and you begin to relax as you watch Pam get progressively drunker.

You get so into the episode that you almost miss the first time he brushes his long fingers against the hem of your tank top. Slowly, his fingers slip beneath the hem, stroking absently over the soft skin of your stomach.

“Is this okay?” His voice is low, almost hypnotic. All you can do is nod.


	4. Graphic Nature

Kai’s hand takes it’s time, fingertips tracing slow patterns on your skin as your heart stutters heavily beneath your ribs. You wonder if he can feel it pounding through your skin. His thumb brushes the underside of your breast as the episode ends and you arch slightly into his touch. 

“Are you afraid of me?” He asks quietly, pressing his lips against your bare shoulder.

“No.” Your breath hitches a little as his thumb teases your nipple to hardness.

“I keep thinking about the way you looked at me that night at the bar. Was it fear?”

The night at the bar when that man had tried to force himself on you. When Kai had threatened him, slammed him against the wall like it was effortless. It wasn’t fear you had felt then, it was quite the opposite.

“No.” You repeat again, squirming slightly as he rolls the hard nub of flesh in slow circles under his thumb. “I wasn’t scared of you…”

“What was it, then?” He asks in a tone that suggests he already knows the answer, biting down lightly on your shoulder.

You squeeze your eyes shut with a soft sound as you feel his teeth sink slightly into your skin. 

“I liked it.” You swallow hard, feeling absolutely compelled to tell him the truth. “Your strength. The way you put him down like it was nothing.”

Kai moves so fast it makes your head spin. He’s got you on your back, your wrists pinned above your head and his dark eyes fixed on yours. A smile tugs slightly at the corners of his mouth, darker than the one you’re used to seeing.

“Like this?”

You nod, panting little as he settles between your legs; you can feel his hardening cock pressing against you through your underwear. He lets out a soft hiss of breath from the contact, rocking his hips experimentally and making you both groan.

“So pretty when you’re helpless,” He practically purrs, leaning down and pressing his face into the side of your neck. His damp hair brushes your cheek as he kisses your neck slowly, hips rutting against yours in a slow rhythm. 

You moan softly into his ear and his grip on your wrists tightens briefly before pulling one hand away and gathering both your wrists into his left hand. They both fit easily in his grip and the knowledge makes the pressure between your legs intensify.

Kai’s free hand reaches down, curling around the front of your tank top and pulling it down to expose your chest to the cool air of your bedroom. He drags his mouth wetly over your skin, moving further downward until he drags his tongue over a hardened nipple, making you arch into his touch. 

Your wrists struggle against his grip as he takes the hard nub of flesh into his mouth, sucking languidly with a low hum of pleasure. All you want is to tangle your hands in his hair, but his grip on your wrists is almost painfully tight. His stubble scratches against your skin with the movements of his mouth in a sharp contrast to the slick movements of his tongue.

“Kai…” You whimper as he grinds his hips against yours, hard cock brushing against your clit with every movement. He sits up, breathing a little heavily as he releases your hands from his grip for the first time.

“Don’t move,” He orders, eyes pinning you in place as he pulls your panties down over your hips, tossing them onto the floor. You press your nails into your palms, ignoring the ache in your arms as you watch him push down his boxers and let his cock spring free.

“There’s condoms in the nightstand,” You breathe, fully onboard with this turn of events, but really not up for raising any Anderson spawn. He reaches over and tugs open the drawer, grabbing one from the small box and tearing open the packet with his teeth. 

He leans over you, hand coming back into place to close around your wrists once he rolls the condom onto his cock. You inhale shakily as he rubs his cock against your opening, biting down on his lower lip as he pushes inside of you slowly with a low groan.

“Fuck…” He breathes, moving his hips in slow thrusts as his eyes move over your face, always searching for a reaction, an emotion. You tip your chin up with a moan and he presses his lips against yours, kissing you languidly as the thrusts get deeper.

You moan into his mouth as he starts fucking you harder, hips snapping against yours with every thrust. The mattress squeaks under your combined weight, embarrassingly loud, but right now you can barely focus on where you are. The heat in your stomach is coiling tighter and tighter with ever passing second.

Kai closes his fingers around your chin as he breaks the kiss, panting against your mouth as he forces you to look at him.

“I want you to come with me,” He pants, voice low and commanding. 

Normally, you would have been trying to hold back a laugh, but you’re so close that it actually might be possible. The sound of his voice, his groans, the sheer intensity of his gaze—it’s all overwhelming.

“Come,” He snarls, and you actually do.

Your nails bite into the skin of your palms so hard it feels like it might draw blood as you let out a ragged moan at the same time as Kai, his hips slamming against yours one last time as he stills inside of you, feeling you clench around him. He presses his forehead against yours, eyes sliding shut as you both come down from the high.

His voice breaks you from your daze.

“Again.” He sits up, finally releasing your aching wrists from his grip.  
“What…?” Your voice sounds thick, dazed.

He tugs the condom off, tossing it into the wastebasket before settling onto his stomach and curling his arms around your legs from beneath you, pulling your lower body forward toward his mouth.

“I want you to come again.” 

He drags his tongue up your pussy, collecting your juices on his tongue with a low groan before closing his mouth around your oversensitive clit and sucking hard. Your hands shoot forward and tangle in his blue hair.

Finally, you think, and it feels like seconds before you’re coming into his mouth, his name falling over and over from your lips. 

Kai takes his time cleaning you up, lapping up every last drop of liquid from your pussy before shifting up and smirking at your expression. It probably looks like you got hit by a train.

“Jesus Christ,” You breathe, running a hand through your hair as you swallow thickly. 

“Close,” Kai amends offhandedly. When he kisses you, all you can taste is yourself on his tongue.


End file.
